Guest writing-I work for Jesus but I still wonder if God really loves me…

Today I am very honored to be sharing a rather vulnerable conversation with others about a lie I had come to believe about God…


“…..It had been a hard three years on the field. I was tired and seeking rejuvenation and had decided to do what refreshes me: go running. I was in a great rhythm and routine when I landed wrong. A few weeks of recovery had turned into a few months, and I was sitting on the couch in a non-weight bearing state trying to entertain my one-year-old and requesting medical consultations in a foreign country where I was supposed to go to relax.

What I had most desired was to feel God’s love, to meet Him anew, and instead I felt too dry to even seek Him. Our family went to Switzerland and the conference was as I feared, deeply frustrating for me as I hobbled around on crutches, unable to even carry my food to the table let alone my child.

As the ten day conference drew to a close God clearly spoke a question to my soul: ‘Do you, Abuk, believe that I love you…?’ It caught me off guard because it is an odd question to be posed to someone who spends her life telling others of God’s love for them. Tears began running down my cheeks and again the question was asked: ‘Do you believe that I love you?…'”

Read the entirety and join in the conversation here at A Life Overseas


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