Leaning into overwhelmed…

D-man resting with Bodie

Last week we were on the front end of our last road-trip of this home assignment. There were one and a half months of travel in front of us and I was staring down at D-man’s hand. It had blisters on it of some sort and was very painful…we realized a trip to the Urgent Care was in order and as I drove through LA looking for the one our insurance would cover I felt a wave of being totally overwhelmed wash over me. I knew it was silly, D-man was a happy”ish” three year old with a rash and I was driving to an urgent care in my passport country where my words and vernacular would be understood. We were driving through the land of pharmacy’s and easy access to any medications he may need and the appointment I had in just two hours could be delayed a bit while we got this taken care of.  But despite my rational I FELT totally overwhelmed. This feeling continued past the urgent care appointment and into the next day. D-man had a virus of the nerves (not airborne contagious) which was painful but would go away in 2-3 weeks- he was fine…except for needing to change his bandages 5x a day and keeping him out of water. Despite this simple diagnosis and relatively simple treatment plan I felt as if it was “the thing” that made each day feel overwhelming.

Perhaps you’ve been there too, knowing you shouldn’t be overwhelmed but feeling like you are, or perhaps having every reason to be overwhelmed and feeling those feelings of “this is too much” wash over you. This particular trip we have been super blessed to be connecting with dear friends, enjoying fun filled days with our children, and sweet time with extended family but even then sometimes a simple hand virus pushes me into an emotional place where my soul screams, ahhh!.

After the urgent care run I drove to my grandparents to be a caregiver for the night and after bedtime routines with them I snuggled into the guest bedroom and thought about the day. It seemed odd to me that something like urgent care had made my heart flutter so and then suddenly I found myself wondering why. I sat back and looked at the last few days ile I had been busy making sure schedules weren’t interrupted for my littles I had neglected to seek the Lord first with mine. I had been so caught up in the day-to-days of visiting, packing, preparing, and schooling that without even realizing I had stopped doing the soul care things I needed to connect with my savior. It was a million little things all added together, the prayer journal empty for two weeks, the alarm clock not being set for uninterpreted stillness before everyone awoke and a general state of business that had crept into our routing and pushed out solitude, prayer and time with my Savior. God had become merely my inspiration and not my salvation and so in that brief moment when D-mans hand had glared it’s ugly blisters at me it became a beautiful breathe of fresh air…a feeling of overwhelmed that pointed me back to my Savior and reminded me that resting in Him should always be my top priority.

It has been a little over a week of this hand virus. It is really no big deal, except it is – it awakened my heart to my deep need to rest in my Savior and those hand blisters are a beautiful reminder that resting in Him makes all the difference.

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