This past month we took a nice family holiday to an apartment on the red sea. We expected to spend lots of time, well at the sea but most of our energy was spent in the pool, much to our surprise.
When we arrived we had four kids that absolutely loved the water as long as their heads were above it. I understood their fear, they had never seen what was underneath, it involved holding their breath and plunging into the unknown and then when they finally emerged they would come up with blurry vision and water in their noses and mouths and running off their hair. Besides why worry about diving under the water when you could have so much fun above?
It was the first day of our little venture and we were in the small pool behind our apartment. I resolutely got in the water and decided to be a swim instructor instead of “mom” for a few hours and we spent time blowing bubbles in the water and taking quick dunks under. My kids trusted me, but not enough to willingly go all the way under the water or (gasp!) open their eyes under the water to see what it was like. I told each child I was not going to let them out until they went all the way under with me at least once….we have videos of screaming children as I dragged them under… and then under again. Depending on the child the screams turned to squeals of delight, or at least acceptance at varying rates. By the next day the pool and water scene was relatively quiet as most of the time was spent exploring underwater, diving and experiencing joys of water fun that they didn’t know had existed. We had little mermaids (and a merman) all happily exploring new things and enjoying the freedom that underwater swimming brings.
Right now I am the stubborn child who is sitting on the edge of the pool. I am having fun in the water, but I don’t really want to get my face wet. I want to travel places I have known, I want to know what is coming next, I don’t want to explore the depth of the waters I am happy with what I am seeing and experiencing on the surface. If I was on the sea of Galilee I would have been the one happily sitting in the boat and observing Peter as he stepped out in face to join Jesus.
I have written about this idea of trusting alot, and have been reflecting on it even more. I attended a dear friends wedding and she had us all sing the song Oceans. I am sure many of you who live in the west may be familiar with this song but it was one of my first times hearing it. One of the lines to the chorus has made its way into my prayers,
“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters wherever you would call me.”
I long for this in my life, a trust that is not defined by borders, where I lay my head, where I live my life. A trust that is not bound by place, or people, or situations. A life of obedience that is not constricted by location, weather, war, famine, or visas.
The question that immedietly comes to my mind when I think/sing this line is how can I have this trust, this type of obedience that lets me dive under water, hold my breath and know that when I come up I may have water running down my hair and into my eyes. And then the songwriter gently answers the question… “let me walk upon the water”.
Peter didn’t stay in the boat and observe he got out and walked to His God. He did so successfully when His eyes were fixed on Jesus and not the waves around him. He wasn’t looking at the obstacles around him and surrounding him he was focused on his God.
“Spirit lead me where my trust and obedience is not restricted by location and situation, allow me to follow and fix my eyes on only you wherever you tell me to go.”
I am afraid of the unknown, I have no idea what is next for our family, or when “next” will start happening. But my job has never been to figure out what is next and then obey it has been to be obedient in the here and now and trust the unknown to the one who leads me. If history proves to be true the unknown will be filled with joys and challenges I couldn’t imagine and may even be worth some wet hair and water in my eyes. I don’t think I quite have the energy to dive into the unknown, yet, but I can cling to the my God and let Him pull me under trusting in His judgement that whatever is to come is enough.
May each of our faith be made stronger in the presence of our Savior as we follow Him into the great unknown of life. May we plunge with confidence into the obedient life of Trust because of who our God is.
